Pimp My Grill

Pimp My Grill is the latest in a long line of what I suppose you could call "Bejeweled clones." The object of the game is always the same - line up three or more of the same coloured jewels and/or symbols in order to remove them from the playing board. To beat each level you must score a required number of points, or in the case of a game like Atlantis Quest retrieve several artifacts from the board. Where Pimp My Grill differs from the largely generic horde of jewel-themed puzzle games is its use of hip hop beats and phrases. The result is a bright, colourful game that looks as good as anything out there and which should appeal to the rap music loving masses. But I don't expect it will hold their attention very long.



The first thing to do is to "Choose yo' dog." I went with Snow Flake because who the fuck am I trying to kid?



Once you've picked your character, we move onto the actual game, where we're presented with the wonderful sight of our "dog's" mouth, filled with diamonds and jewels. Hell, if my mouth had a never ending pile of jewels in it I'd flash that shit too. And so we begin, switching jewels to make those lines of three and filling the Bling-O-Meter. Don't worry, no need to rush - there isn't any time limit. At first I wasn't sure of this, but after leaving the game alone for ten minutes I came back to find everything just as I had left it. It was still playing the same ponderous beat, and no doubt things would have stayed that way if I hadn't gotten on with the job of pimping my homie's grill. Or something.



Eventually you fill up the Bling-O-Meter and you pass the level. You then go back to the mouth and start again.

That's pretty much it. It's the same mouth, the same size playing board and pretty much the same jewels. The only difference is the level number is now 2 where it was once 1.

Now, I've seen this before, most recently in Anchor Ball, and I'm getting pretty tired of it - developers trying to pass off multiple versions of the same level as a whole game. It's not a whole game. It's just Level 1 fifteen times. I played through seven levels of Pimp My Grill and not one was any harder than the last. The only thing to differentiate one level from the other was the occasional addition of a new gem. I think Einstein said it best with the phrase, "That's bullshit."

I suppose I should mention the power-ups, since they're the only other thing worth writing about. Some gems are slightly bigger than others and if you can link them with similar jewels they'll help you out by either removing all the gems of that type or taking away the block of gems around it. On top of that there are added bonuses for links of four jewels:



I don't know what a "power baller" is, and part of me doesn't want to know. Then there's the bonus for a link of five:



I thought the O in "O.G." stood for "Original." You know, "Original Gangsta"? I don't think Dr Dre would appreciate being called old. You try it some time - he'll most likely bitchslap you into next week.



You can always play with the other characters' mouths (that didn't sound gay at all) but you know it's just the same game with a slightly larger or slightly smaller playing board. There aren't words to describe how great an opportunity was lost here to create an original puzzle game in a subgenre of pretenders.

So I'll write about Fancy Pants Adventure: World 2 instead. The internet has waited a long time for this. Building from the phenomonal success of the original, Brad Borne has done it again, creating a platform adventure game that is smart, funny, looks gorgeous and plays like a dream. I was worried at first because I had been playing an early version that didn't feature any music or trophies and which stalled every time I jumped. But the finished product is out now, and I can't recommend it enough. I know I usually slate games in this blog, but I can't really be upset when the new Fancy Pants game is finally online after an age and a half of waiting. Don't play Pimp My Grill, but definitely check out Fancy Pants Adventure: World 2. You won't be disappointed.