Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Nuclear Fart Bear

I really don't have an excuse for not posting a review last week. All I can say is, I had a lot of stuff to do, and not a lot of time to do it. As a result Big Mean Flash Gamer was neglected last week. However, I've come back to you with another in the long line of bad games with awesome titles - Nuclear Fart Bear.

I truly marvel at the kind of mind that can come up with a concept like Nuclear Fart Bear, taking a cute little pudgy bear and giving him the power of extraordinary flatulence. How I manage to find these games again and again completely astounds me, and how each new one manages to top the last in terms of sheer ridiculousness even more so.

The object of the game (as if it even matters at this point) is to catch and eat as many butterflies as possible. Sometimes these butterflies are beyond the reach of your stubby little arms, and that's when you utilise your gigantic farts to fly up into the air.

I must say, that is a cute little critter. Lookit 'im, trying to catch bugs and stuff!

Now if we could only do something about the explosive flatulence...

I've had some bad gas before, but that is ridiculous! That's going to cause serious long-term problems. I can't help but feel it's the diet that's really affecting our furry hero's intestines; maybe he should cut down on the butterflies, at least for a while.

The controls are simple yet frustrating at times. The left and right cursor keys move you from side to side, but you don't stop moving after you take your finger off the button, meaning it can be hard to position yourself where you want to be on screen. Time is of the essence in Nuclear Fart Bear; wait too long to pass wind and you might make an unexpected leap into the stratosphere. Once you crash down to Earth you lose a life, and when you've lost all three lives it's game over. The key is trying to control your flights with careful pressing of the Space key.

It doesn't seem to worry our bear friend too much. Indeed, here he is after a particularly nasty fall, completely dismembered, yet still with a smile on his face!

All in all, it's actually fun for a while, but there isn't much to keep you coming back. Unless you like watching small bears fart their way into space, this is one to avoid.

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