Oh God. Oh, dear God in Heaven.
What happened? I mean, seriously, what's going on? How has it come to this? Are we really so starved for original ideas that someone, somewhere spent good time and energy creating this? Ramen Cooking Game is exactly what you think it is. I was almost late for work, got my ass chewed on a conference call, then spent my evening playing a game in which the sole objective is to make Ramen. Your day was nowhere near as bad as mine.
This is it; this is the entire game. You cook noodles, you chop up ingredients, you throw it in a pot and you make Ramen. Jesus Christ, it's a puzzler based around cooking Ramen, made by people who specialise in dress-up games - you were expecting a challenge, maybe?
How utterly pointless is this game? Unless you really love Ramen, you will get exactly twenty seconds of pleasure from playing this. Apparently the goal is to make sixteen Ramen meals for your impatient customers, but I must have made twice that many and I still have no idea what's supposed to happen when you win. I began to doubt that anything happened at all. I'm pretty sure you just end up making Ramen forever.
Sounds fun, doesn't it?
If you don't make the Ramen before the customer's happiness meter reaches the red, then the meal is failed and you have to go on to the next one. Like you could possibly fail - just remember to add the Ramen soup and noodles, and you're good to go. Plus, with only four meals to master, you'll just end up repeating the same recipe over and over again, four or five times in a row.
This is the type of game that gives you a headache from wondering at the idiocy of it all. I know my reviews have been a lot shorter these days, and this is the shortest of the bunch, but what do you want me to write? What could I possibly note that would make it any more apparent that this game is a woeful attempt to steal minutes of your life? You shouldn't even need to read a review like this to know that Ramen Cooking Game is a horrible experience. It's about cooking Ramen, God dammit! It couldn't be any more apparent!