Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Strip The Difference

Games 2 Win is quickly becoming my favourite website, simply because they make this job so easy. I can pretty much guarantee that at any point I can log onto the site and find more than one duff game on the homepage. Really, I could review a different game by them every week for the next year, such is the poor quality on offer. But because I like to spread the indignation around, I'll just focus on Strip The Difference this time.

Strip The Difference - do I really need to write any more? This is yet another lacklustre attempt at titillation that wouldn't stir the loins of a twelve-year-old Amish boy. What's new here is that the game is "spot the difference," every correct answer offering you another glimpse of poorly-drawn cleavage.

Does the artist even have the faintest idea of basic human anatomy? I mean, the guy looks OK, but what's up with the woman? Why is her head so big? Why is her head so big?

So, with a limited number of guesses and a timer running down at all times, you need to locate the differences between the two pictures. And why are you doing this? What is your reward?

Stuff like this. Wow, sexy.

You know, if I wanted to check out upskirt shots, I could just go to Google Images. It's not like women wearing skirts with underwear is all that unusual (unless those women are friends of Paris Hilton, I suppose.) But as pathetic as the attempt to raise male eyebrows might be, what makes it even worse is that the game is just frustrating to play. You can click on some differences over and over again, but if you don't click in exactly the right spot it won't work. And sometimes that spot is moving, which only makes things more annoying.

I don't know about you guys, but I don't really see what's so sexy about falling off a treadmill. Dangerous maybe, but not in a sexy way. I suppose you could say that Strip The Difference and its ilk aren't meant to be taken seriously. After all, no one could really get aroused by this! (Of course, I'm sure Rule 34 will no doubt kick in here.) Strip The Difference is simply harmless comedy, like the Carry On films. The only problem is, it took thirty years for the Carry On jokes to get old; this game didn't last 30 seconds.

The last level not only rehashes an old fantasy figure (come on, guys - the sexy policewoman was the best you could do?), it's also quite confusing. For one thing, where are we? The neon lights might say Las Vegas, but the Oriental writing makes me wonder if we're in Hong Kong. Yet none of the people in the picture look Asian. And in what city do the police officers walk around in miniskirts?

Yeah, watching a drunk play motorboat with a policewoman's breasts on a crowded city street is neither sexy nor humorous. In real life, this usually results in pepper spray to the face (not that I'd know anything about that.) This is the kind of humour you'd expect from those guys who make all those "_____ Movie" flicks. And just like those turds on film, Games 2 Win keeps churning out wastes of bandwidth like Strip The Difference.

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